Go Ahead, Talk To Yourself

May 3, 2013

learn more about maxwell leadership

explore our strength leader services

You'll also love

tell me more

I'm Deb- CEO, worldwide executive coach, mentor, consultant and speaker. I'm here to help you take your leadership and impact to the next level!

Meet Deb

self talk

I hereby give you permission to do something that is normally frowned upon in society, permission to do what some call crazy, permission to walk on the wild side.


Go ahead…talk to yourself!


But there’s one rule  – you must talk to yourself as kindly as you speak to others. You must be polite and encouraging.


Hmmm…do you suddenly find yourself at a loss for words?

Is it awkward?


The fact is, if we talked to others like we talk to ourselves, we would probably get arrested! Think about it. Would you allow someone to call you an idiot and tell you that you can’t do anything right? Would you let them tell someone you love that they are worthless? Of course not. And yet, this is how most people talk to themselves on a daily basis.


It is heartbreaking to see an adult who was verbally abused as a child. They are easy to recognize – shoulders slumped, quiet, head down. They lack self-confidence. They may be highly intelligent, but think of themselves as stupid. They may be attractive, but when they look in the mirror, they see an ugly image. Why? Because somewhere in life, words were said that convinced them they were worthless.


If you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing someone speak positively and sincerely to someone like this about something specific they’ve done, you will notice that all of a sudden, they stand tall, raise their head, and smile just a little.


This illustrates the power of words and thoughts.

They can be weapons…or tools.


I’ll let you in on a secret: the most successful people I know talk to themselves. They know how to use words and thoughts as tools for success. Their inner conversations go something like this, “You can do it!” Or, “So you made a mistake. You’ll find a better way next time,” Or, “Don’t worry about it – you don’t have to be perfect.” Or, “Maybe you didn’t finish, but you got further than you would have if you didn’t try.” And one of my favorites, “There HAS to be a way, and I’m going to find it!”


Does it really matter what you say to yourself? You bet it does! Our minds tend to interpret our thoughts as reality. So make your thoughts good ones.



Join us Monday night, May 6,

on the Leadership Insight Show

to meet Melissa Malueg,

a very special guest who specializes in successful self-talk.

If you’re guilty of verbal self-abuse, you need to listen to this show!

  1. Deb, thank you for bringing to light one of the most important and least understood methods for success or sheer maddness. Self talk or the conversations we have within us account for the undercurrent that sweeps through our mind and heart, while showing itself through behavior and actions.
    Recent breakthroughs in neuroscience illustrate that our brains are hardwired to respond to a story. Many stories get blocked out because they are boring with too much narrative or they are tagged as threatening. The stories that have the most impact on us….our own story! Our brain gives us permission to keep playing this DVD of delight or disaster over and over again.
    A recent brain-imaging study reported in Psychological Science shows regions of our brain that process our daily activites also becme active when engrossed in a compelling story. The story we tell ourselves has enormous power and influence in our lives. In my coaching expereince, I’ve found that most people’s negatives stories that keep playing over in their minds and influence their current behavior choices are not even their own story. They were implanted long ago by someone else! That’s like allowing a bad movie to keep playing in the theatre and requiring everyone in town to go see it. Wow!
    Deb, thank you for bringing this conversation to light. Kick the destructive stories out and start telling yourself the power and possabilities that you possess.