A commitment should be treated as a binding contract with yourself. However, many of us break our commitments. We commit to people, banks, work, pets, or ourselves. A commitment is something that you have no doubts about. Something you give 100% of your whole self to.
Commitment is a fulfilling endeavor that, when followed through, gives an immense sense of accomplishment. Think about something you have committed to, followed through with to the end, and how you felt at the end, knowing you didn’t break it along the way: weight loss, getting a formal education, or going for the big contract and landing it, for instance.
Sometimes commitment can be confused with staying with something too long after you should have let go of it – like a dead-end job or a loveless marriage. If you have this type of commitment in your life, at some point you will have to confront it. So ask yourself, why are you still in a commitment that you have doubts about or don’t believe in? This type of commitment has to be dealt with, it has to be fixed or it will only continue to spiral out of control.
Commitments are what ground you and keep you active and engaged in life. Being free and having few commitments sounds so refreshing to many who have spouses, children, pets, jobs, mortgages…but for only a fleeting moment when life feels heavy and burdensome. We are social creatures who desire connections and relationships with others; a sense of accomplishment and pride in our contributions to making life better for everyone in our lives including ourselves.
Sometimes we need help with our commitments, and we seek out this help through our friends, co-workers, spouses, coaches, mentors. By asking for help, we are strengthening our commitment to ourselves and others; we are fulfilling our obligations contractually with ourselves to follow through to the end, no matter what it takes.
Deb, I like to check in on the expiration date for some of my commitments. I find, if I’m not thoughtful, that commitments to a task, a role in a process or a person that I am no longer connected to have reached their expiration date. Ways I’ve found to keep my commitments fresh and up to date include:
* Be very thoughtful before making a commitment. Understand what you are saying “yes” to.
* Every committment has a specific goal that has a begining and end point, which is clearly defined and understood.
* Check in points along the way if the commitment is over time. Progress needs to be monitored as in every process with adjustments made to continually improve the outcome.
* Celebrate completion of a commitment! This acknowledges the agreed end point, celebrates the effort and allows you to choose next steps.
The commitment check in process has helped me stay current, connected and successful with my efforts. Thanks Deb for a thoughtful post.
David what a great perspective, I love the 4 points you outlined…so helpful!
All too often we commit to something and own it forever merely by default.
So appreciate your perspective and wisdom always!